But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize