Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
