I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize