There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
