used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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