Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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