At least make sure they are 18
Why
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your penis caused this!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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