They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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