i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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