We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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