I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
