I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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