We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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