Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
