hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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