at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
