you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
