I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
