the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
