Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
