He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
