you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and she was petting her beer can
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
