Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
