the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
