Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
