Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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