"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
