This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
