the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
