Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
