I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
