is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
