You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
