Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
