I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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