I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
