Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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