speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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