I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
