i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
