walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
