its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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