But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
