so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
