I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
