Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
