Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
