Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
