I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
