Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
