Ambien. No doubt about it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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