You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
