I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she peed on how many people?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
