she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't turn off my feet"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
