Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
