yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
