im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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