the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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