when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
