i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I supernannyed him into submission
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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