I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
