Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
