Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
