omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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