Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
that is very illegal...i love you.
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