Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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