but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
