Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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