have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
