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I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
