question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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