He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
