Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
