May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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