why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize