Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize