can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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