He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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