Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize