I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
