I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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