I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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