I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
