I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
